Homebuyers
Surviving the Stress of Homebuying: Tips to Keep Your Cool
December 10, 2024
Homebuying can feel like a thrilling adventure one day and fraught the next. With stakes high—both financially and emotionally—many buyers find themselves in a tug-of-war between excitement and pure exhaustion.
Healthcare professionals and psychologists say the intense emotions linked to buying a home are far from unusual; in fact, they're baked into our primal wiring. High home prices and elevated mortgage rates may heighten the stress.
However, there are things that buyers can do to lessen the anxiety. Mental health experts recommend a variety of approaches to help homebuyers stay grounded, destress, and not let anxiety get the best of them.
"The brain gets stuck in this loop of excitement mixed with pure terror—totally normal considering you're making possibly the biggest purchase of your life,” said psychologist Aristotle Paulides, who is based out of Denver, Colo. He also co-founded RoutineBase, a platform focused on helping individuals establish and maintain beneficial daily routines. “We're dealing with primal needs for shelter and security, plus throwing in massive financial pressure.”
Why buying a home is so stressful
The complexities of homebuying aren't just about finding the right house. It's about navigating a web of emotions tied to security, financial stability, and the fear of making a very expensive mistake.
"It is an important event in one's life that can induce anxiety and overwhelming feelings,” said Sean O'Neill, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Maple Moon Recovery in Winnetka, Calif. “The stakes feel high, and the process can lead to mental fatigue and decision saturation.”
Many buyers experience panic over their ability to secure a mortgage or beat out the competition for a home.
"My clients frequently mention lying awake at night, second-guessing their decisions or obsessing over interest rates,” said Paulides. “These intense reactions happen because our brains process housing decisions in the same region that handles survival instincts."
How homebuyers can lower their stress
Paulides suggested managing this stress by breaking the process into "tiny, manageable chunks.”
He recommended setting specific times each day to check emails and handle homebuying tasks to avoid feeling "on-call" all the time.
Creating a routine can also provide comfort. For example, taking a short walk before negotiations or jotting down worries in a journal can help calm racing thoughts.
Another key to reducing stress is setting a realistic budget and sticking to it. Spending beyond your means can add pressure and lead to regrets down the line.
Financial boundaries keep you focused on options you can afford, protecting you from feeling stretched too thin.
Self-care strategies for staying sane
To survive the homebuying marathon, regular self-care is key. Simple routines like eating meals at regular times, getting outside for fresh air, and keeping up with friends can make a difference.
"People often forget to give their brains breaks from house-hunting stress," Paulides says. "A game night or coffee outing can actually keep you more grounded during this intense time."
Having a strong support network and some stress-reducing activities, like journaling or nature walks, may help keep anxiety in check, said April Crowe, a therapist at the rehabilitation facility Paramount Wellness Retreat in Haddam, Conn.
"Deep breathing or mindfulness can be surprisingly effective when things feel overwhelming,” said Crowe. “Staying realistic about the process and remembering to take care of yourself can help you keep emotions in check."
Homebuying may feel like an emotional rollercoaster, but it's possible to stay grounded.
"Remember, it is okay to take a step back and give yourself space when things feel too intense," said Crowe. "If you find that the stress of homebuying is impacting your mental health or daily life, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable support. They can help you navigate this complex process and equip you with tools to manage stress."